Chapter 1: The New Age of Aging

Aging in the present era is vastly different from what our grandparents experienced. Society has transformed in numerous ways, making the transition into old age feel like entering a new and unexplored realm. One of the most notable changes is our increased life expectancy; when I was born in 1934, the average lifespan in the U.S. was 65 years, whereas today it stands at 78. Now, at 89, I can anticipate living an additional 5.26 years. However, there isn't a clear guide to navigating these extra years.

A pivotal aspect that distinguishes aging now from the past is the remarkable advancements in healthcare. With programs like Medicare and Medicaid, we have access to a range of effective medications and treatments for chronic conditions like diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. The availability of joint replacements and hearing aids allows us to remain active and engaged within our communities. Furthermore, rehabilitation, physical therapy, and occupational therapy are valuable resources for restoring or maintaining our physical capabilities.

Despite these additional years and the benefits of contemporary medicine, many individuals harbor a fear of aging. Phrases like "I can't wait to turn 90!" are rarely uttered. When I surveyed a group about their perceptions of older adults, the most common descriptors were frail, slow, forgetful, dull, and cranky, reinforcing the stereotype that aging is synonymous with decline.

Surprising Findings on Happiness in Older Age

During the research for my book EightySomethings, I interviewed 128 seniors from various regions across the United States. My goal was to gain insights into the experience of aging in today's world. To my astonishment, a majority reported feeling genuinely happy—much happier than I expected. Research by social scientists, including Laura Carstensen from Stanford University, consistently indicates that individuals in their 80s report greater happiness compared to those in their 70s, and those in their 70s are happier than those in their 60s.

In addition to the prevalence of happiness among older adults, I discovered that aging is also characterized by ongoing growth and development. Many continue to explore new interests such as technology, birdwatching, genealogy, and foreign languages. They travel, play musical instruments, volunteer, write, and create art. Most seniors in their 70s and 80s lead vibrant, fulfilling lives.

You might be wondering about the inevitable losses that accompany aging. While it’s true that we face many losses, my conclusion is that our often pessimistic expectations of aging may not reflect reality. Our inherent negativity bias contributes to a gloomy outlook on growing older. It's time to embrace the experience of aging, celebrating our age rather than feeling ashamed of it.

I urge those of us over seventy to take time to notice and appreciate our lives as we live them. I've observed that we often concentrate more on our discomforts than on the joys and pleasures life offers.

Flipping the Narrative on Negative Self-Perception

Reflecting on my own experiences, just a few days ago on a Monday, I spent much of the day missing my partner, Peter, who passed away four months prior. Mourning has left my apartment feeling eerily quiet. That day, I also faced minor challenges: I accidentally scheduled two meetings for the same time and felt a persistent ache in my right hand, worrying it might be a fracture. Additionally, I left my sweater behind at exercise class—just a few forgetful moments before noon.

However, that same day was filled with small joys. I savored leisurely reading the newspaper and completing the mini-crossword puzzle. Surprisingly, I enjoyed my weightlifting class and indulged in my daily nap afterward. In the afternoon, a college student volunteer helped me organize my passwords—a significant achievement since I previously jotted them down on random papers scattered around my home. Later that evening, I shared a delightful dinner with close friends, enjoying stories and camaraderie. It turned out to be a day where many things went right.

Instead of engaging in negative self-talk, I encourage everyone to take time to reflect on daily contentments and appreciate the positive moments. Ask yourself why these good things occurred. In my case, I organized my passwords because I reached out for help, and I enjoyed dinner with friends because I extended an invitation. This realization reinforces that we often hold the key to our own happiness.

I am gradually learning to recognize what is going well in my life. Each day, I strive to identify two or three aspects that I usually overlook but are functioning well. For instance, on that Monday, I noticed that none of my teeth were hurting, and I was walking comfortably.

Chapter 2: Insights from Contemporary Aging Research

The first video, The Facts About Aging Today, presents enlightening statistics and trends about the aging population, emphasizing the shifting dynamics of elderly life.

The second video, Rethinking Health, Wellness & Aging in America Today | Clay DeStefano, discusses modern approaches to health and wellness for older adults, encouraging a fresh perspective on aging.