Part 2 of my spiritual journey reflects on my fall from a place of joy into a dark abyss.

In early 1978, as I drove past Texas Stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys, I felt compelled to shout at God, “Alright! I’ll return to You if You surround me with people who genuinely know You and aren’t merely pretending in church. Otherwise, I’ll continue living the unhappy life I’ve been leading. I’m finished with the type of church I experienced before!”

Perhaps it was my first communication with Him in over three years that spared me from any divine retribution, as I arrived at work without incident, no thunderbolts striking down on me.

But how did I find myself in such a dismal place?

This chapter — Part 2 of my spiritual odyssey — delves into that very question.

If you haven't read Part 1 yet, I highly encourage you to do so, as each segment builds upon the last.

I concluded Part 1 by sharing my fervent devotion following my baptism in the Holy Spirit. That zeal lasted from 1970 until much of 1973 when I served as the pianist for our youth choir.¹

Yet, amid all the joy and wonder of those four years, I recognized that few individuals shared my enthusiasm.

Believing in Jesus is one thing; actively following Him as the Lord of your life on a daily basis is quite another.

What occurs when a teenager feels isolated, perplexed, and frustrated, unable to reconcile biblical teachings with the reality of family life and church experiences?

The answer is this:

1973 — A Crucial Year

In the early months of 1973, I began walking to shed the 45 pounds I had gained in late 1972 due to back issues that sidelined me from sports and other physical activities. My doctor suggested that losing weight might allow me to return to basketball the following year.

That was all the motivation I needed, as basketball was my passion!

With my mother busy managing our country store and serving as the Postmaster, it fell to me to prepare dinner each night. My younger sister, Carolyn, assisted occasionally, but at 15, this was primarily my responsibility.

I came up with the idea to walk three miles each morning before school and, instead of eating after putting dinner on the table, I would take another walk. Unbeknownst to me, I was effectively practicing intermittent fasting, with a feeding window from 5 AM to 2 PM.

How well did it work? By May, I had shed 30 pounds — just in time for summer camp!

My Frustration Fueled by Passion

The highlight of the year for the youth in our church was undoubtedly summer camp. In June, we gathered at the Heart of Texas Baptist Camp and Retreat Center by Lake Brownwood, where we stayed in dorms, swam, and engaged in activities aimed at spiritual growth, including nightly evangelistic services.

Many young lives were profoundly impacted during that time, with some returning proclaiming their newfound faith in Jesus.

With this in mind, I fervently prayed for a school friend and basketball teammate who was not a believer. She lived nearby, and we often met to walk together.

I attempted to share my faith with her, but my lack of experience made it difficult. I prayed earnestly for her father to allow her to attend camp, believing that once there, she would surely come to faith.

God answered my prayers; not only did she attend camp with us that year, but on one fateful night (with me by her side), she accepted Jesus into her heart.

I was overjoyed! My friend was saved!

However, my excitement quickly turned to frustration when she declined to be baptized. She had heard that if she were baptized in our church, it would mean automatic membership, which her father would never allow.

I was furious!

What did it matter if she became a member of our church? She was already a member of the true Church — the Body of Christ. Why not baptize her without adding her name to the membership list if that was her wish?

How absurd!

If it seems I had transformed into a rebellious teenager, you would be correct. But what I was rebelling against were church practices that felt like mere human additions.

Remember, I was a teenager who read her Bible, and my question was, why complicate matters by introducing elements that weren’t present?

I still question this today.

A Recipe for Ruin

I love my father and recognize that he raised us with good intentions. Regrettably, due to his deep-seated resentment towards his own father, who made him work on the farm without pay, Dad swung to the opposite extreme. Essentially, he was determined to do everything differently than his father.

I began helping Dad in the dairy from the age of eight, earning 50 cents per milking and an additional 25 cents for cleaning. Naturally, I always cleaned up.

Moreover, my siblings and I received a weekly allowance of about $5 for household chores.

Summers, however, brought in significant income as there was plenty of work on the farm. My favorite tasks included bailing hay, moving irrigation pipes, building fences, and caring for baby calves.

I also hunted armadillos with a .22 rifle to prevent them from digging holes in the pastures where our cows grazed. If cows stepped in those holes, they could injure themselves, and the same went for us on motorcycles.

By my teenage years, it was common for me to deposit over $400 into my checking account monthly, which I had opened at ten years old.

Additionally, I enjoyed a privilege many of my peers did not: I received my driver’s license at 15.

So, what does a teenager do with ample cash and a driver’s license? Buy a car, naturally! With my father's blessing, I headed to the Oldsmobile dealership and drove home in a brand-new 1973 Cutlass, with monthly payments around $120.

Did I need a new car? Absolutely not! I already had a motorcycle and access to several family vehicles.

What I also didn’t require was unrestricted freedom to roam the county. My parents believed they had raised me well thus far, and since I had never caused trouble, why impose unnecessary restrictions? (To which Dad would add, like my father did to me).

Mom was less enthusiastic about this freedom but had little say. Dad ruled the roost; it was his way or nothing — and in my case, I got both.

By the time I turned 16 in October, I was a teenager with a car, money, freedom, and an increasing dissatisfaction with church.

What could possibly go wrong?

Best Friends Sometimes Aren't

I met Linda in late 1974 through a mutual friend. We didn't spend much time together until I transferred to Stephenville High School for my senior year in the fall of 1975. After that, we were nearly inseparable, much to her mother’s dismay.

Linda was an insulin-dependent type 1 diabetic with a younger brother who faced both deafness and mental and physical challenges. As a result, her home life was anything but typical, and her parents were quite strict.

The disparity between my resources and privileges and those of Linda was glaring.

To her parents, I was a problematic influence. To Linda, I represented the freedom she yearned for.

With little regard for the long-term consequences, when Linda turned 18 in March, she moved in with me.

This is what teenagers do — they make impulsive decisions that they often regret later.

The ensuing drama was intense, particularly on graduation night.

But Linda was resolute; she would not return home.

Three weeks later, we relocated to Dallas for me to attend Texas Institute, a technical school focused on the burgeoning field of computers.

The plan was straightforward: I would attend school while she sought employment. Once I completed the 26-week course, I would get a job, and she would then enroll in school to train as a dental assistant.

Yet, she never found a job, and my savings from selling the cattle I raised on my grandparents' ranch ran out too quickly, forcing me to drop out halfway through the program.

Fortunately, I completed the Computer Operations section of the course and secured a night shift position as a computer operator for a company in North Dallas.

So, despite the ongoing drama, unfulfilled promises, and disrupted plans, on November 1, 1976, I began what would evolve into a 32-year career in computing.

Conclusion

This time should have been the highlight of my life. Instead, it became a nightmare. Not only due to the issues with Linda, but also because of Craig, her boyfriend whom I introduced her to at a company Christmas party.

My life spiraled into chaos because I had distanced myself from God three years prior. Regardless of the reasons and justifications, in my pursuit of love and friendship, I had forsaken my First Love, which came at a heavy price.

I had never experienced life devoid of God’s peace and presence. I had always walked in His light.

Then Jesus spoke out again, “I am the light of the world! The one who follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12, NET)

Now, I found myself in the darkest phase of my life — a pit of my own making (with a little help from my best friend).

Thus, on that early morning in 1978, much like Jonah in the belly of the whale, out of my desperation and anguish, I cried out to God with the prayer I shared earlier.

What transpired next? Did God respond to my plea?

Oh yes, He certainly did! Although I wouldn’t comprehend it for some time, He initiated a rescue plan for this wayward soul.

And I’ll share all about it in Part 3 (Friend Link):