Chapter 1: Feynman's Love for Arline

Richard Feynman’s heartfelt letter to his late wife, Arline Greenbaum, stands as a touching testament to his enduring love and sorrow for her, penned over a year after her passing. This letter unveils a vulnerable side of Feynman, a stark contrast to his public image as a brilliant physicist. In it, he reflects on his profound affection for Arline, whom he wed despite the knowledge of her terminal illness.

Arline, Feynman’s first wife and high school sweetheart, entered his life in 1939 during a dance where an instant connection was forged. Their mutual interests in science, art, and philosophy deepened their bond. The couple became engaged in 1940, but shortly thereafter, Arline began experiencing troubling health issues that were ultimately diagnosed as tuberculosis. Despite familial objections and health risks, they married in 1942 and relocated to New Mexico for Feynman's work on the Manhattan Project. Arline was hospitalized in a nearby sanatorium, and Feynman dedicated his weekends to visiting her. Tragically, she passed away on June 16, 1945, just two months prior to the atomic bomb's detonation over Hiroshima.

Feynman remained single until 1960, when he married Mary Louise Bell. He preserved Arline’s letter and other cherished items in a locked trunk, which he only opened post his second divorce in 1979. The poignant letter, written on October 17, 1946—what would have been their fourth wedding anniversary—begins with “Darling Wife of Mine,” and reveals his deep feelings of despair and solitude. In one of the most striking passages, he wrote:

You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.

I loved you in this life and I love you in the next.

I know you will always be with me.

Feynman also conveyed his hope for a future reunion and expressed the necessity of seeking happiness with another person.

Please excuse my not mailing this — but I don’t know your new address.

I hope that when you are looking at me from the sky that you don’t think I am unfaithful to our ideas.

I tried to do the best for the most.

Though Feynman never sent the letter, he kept it in an envelope marked “To be opened only by Arline.” He passed away in 1988 at the age of 69 due to cancer. The letter was later uncovered by biographer James Gleick, who was researching Feynman. Astonished by its emotional depth and intimacy, Gleick included it in his book "Genius: The Life and Science of Richard Feynman." Since then, the letter has resonated with many as a powerful expression of love that endures beyond death. Below is the complete letter as excerpted from Gleick's biography.

Chapter 2: A Journey Through Grief

In the video titled "I Love My Wife, My Wife Is Dead - Richard Feynman to Arline Feynman | Healing | Sleepcast," viewers are offered a moving interpretation of Feynman's heartfelt sentiments towards his wife, showcasing the healing power of love and loss.

Additionally, the video "Richard Feynman to Arline - Read by Oscar Isaac" brings to life the poignant words of Feynman, allowing audiences to experience the raw emotion behind his tribute to Arline.

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