A Journey Beyond: Discovering the True Nature of Existence
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Chapter 1: The Depths of Despair
In a moment of despair, when facing the heart-wrenching reality of my son’s health, I found myself grappling with a truth that many dismiss. The notion that there is nothing after death seemed not only foolish but tragically sad.
The doctor had just informed us that despite the aggressive treatment, my son’s condition was not improving. After three days of antibiotics administered through an IV, we were being sent home without the hope of a clear resolution. He was thrilled to leave, his sisters beaming with joy at the prospect of returning to normalcy, while I struggled to suppress the haunting association of joy with the finality of loss.
A nurse had set up an appointment with a pediatric oncologist for us, and the reality of our situation was heavy on my heart. We hadn’t told him what was happening; I wished to shield him from the inevitable storm of uncertainty that loomed ahead.
As we drove home, I watched the world around us—people honking and laughing, completely unaware of the tragedy unfolding in my life. I couldn’t comprehend how they could find joy in the mundane when I was trapped in a whirlwind of despair.
An Unforeseen Blessing
The day after we returned home, I woke before dawn. My face was swollen from tears, and nausea gripped my stomach. I sat at my computer, battling the urge to seek answers online, knowing that Google’s prognosis would likely confirm my worst fears.
I intended to write, but exhaustion overwhelmed me, and I collapsed on my bed, the morning sun casting a gentle warmth across my back.
In the stillness of the house, I was enveloped by the purring of my cats and the soft melodies of birds outside. It was in that moment of tranquility that something extraordinary happened. Suddenly, I was no longer confined to my physical form—I was hovering above my body, free from fear.
I began to explore, effortlessly gliding through my roof and soaring above my neighborhood. The sensation was akin to moving my limbs, instinctive and fluid. As I moved westward, I marveled at the familiar landscape below, captivated by the beauty of the world beneath me.
The shimmering sunlight danced on the ocean as I arrived at my childhood beach—the cliffs of Palos Verdes rising majestically beside me. Everything felt vividly alive; I reveled in the beauty surrounding me, the joy of existence flooded my senses.
Returning to Reality
When the pull to return to my physical body became undeniable, I did so willingly. Upon my return, the warmth of that profound experience washed over me, dispelling the despair that had previously consumed me. I found myself laughing with pure joy throughout the day, a stark contrast to my previous sorrow.
Awakening to Spirituality
Raised in a Catholic environment, spirituality had never been a focus in my life. Although I had completed the necessary sacraments and adhered to Catholic traditions, I had largely dismissed any deeper beliefs. Philosophy had been my guiding light, particularly Stoicism, which helped me navigate daily challenges.
However, the shock of my son’s potential illness had left me vulnerable and questioning. That mystical experience transformed everything. I began to perceive a reality beyond the physical realm, a beautiful existence that filled me with gratitude and peace. The days spent with my children became treasured moments, not to be overshadowed by the uncertainties of tomorrow.
The Good News
A week before my son’s tests, his doctor called with a glimmer of hope—she wanted to try one more antibiotic. The following day, his condition had significantly improved; the lump on his neck was reducing.
The diagnosis was Cat Scratch Fever, a rare condition, and I was relieved to learn that it posed no serious threat. Our family cat was the culprit, but we would never consider parting with her.
Exploring the Experience
With the burden of my son’s illness lifted, I began to delve into the meaning of my out-of-body experience. It was too vivid to be dismissed as a dream; it felt more like a profound memory. I sought answers through research and literature, including Robert Monroe’s “Journeys Out of the Body,” hoping to understand what had happened.
This journey unveiled layers of truth, leading me toward a deeper understanding of existence. I realized I had been released from a confinement I didn’t know existed, akin to Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. I sought to replicate that experience, preparing myself mentally before sleep and attempting to remain conscious during the transition from wakefulness to slumber.
My efforts were rewarded one night while watching a cosmic documentary on television. In an instant, I found myself soaring through the sky, drawn to the universe’s magnificence. The stars glittered like jewels, and I felt the weightlessness of pure joy enveloping me.
As I descended back towards Earth, I marveled at the scenery below, diving into the ocean with ease. Underwater, I felt liberated, exploring vibrant coral reefs illuminated by a mysterious light—my television still broadcasting the cosmic documentary.
However, my attempts to replicate these experiences dwindled, yielding only fleeting moments of success. During one encounter, I faced a dark, foreboding figure who warned me to “open my eyes” to find safety.
Locked In
I began to feel constrained, as if I were trapped within my own body. Over the years, I pondered whether my fear had sealed me off from those celestial experiences.
Looking back, I now recognize that these supernatural occurrences shattered any skepticism I held about the existence of a reality beyond our physical lives. I came to understand that I am not merely my body but a being connected to something far greater.
The journey toward spiritual enlightenment became a quest for truth, guided by an invisible force that led me to explore the depths of my existence. Each out-of-body experience was a signpost directing me toward a destination I had yet to discover.
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