# Corporate Jargon I Never Want to Hear Again
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Chapter 1: The Corporate Speak That Makes Us Cringe
I think I just felt a little nauseous...
A while back, I shared my thoughts on some corporate phrases that drive me up the wall. The response was overwhelming — it resonated with so many of us navigating the corporate landscape. Since seven is a rather small number, let’s dive into a few more delightful expressions that many can relate to…
Section 1.1: "We Want to Know What You Really Think"
Oh really? No, you actually don’t. This phrase is often tossed around by managers who believe they’re open to feedback, yet lack any real self-awareness. The truth is, sharing your honest thoughts with most management figures is akin to signing your career death warrant. You risk being labeled as a difficult employee or someone who doesn't grasp the company dynamics. I recall a colleague who shared his views during a town hall meeting with the CEO; when the company faced challenges later, he was the first one let go.
Section 1.2: "Take Us on the Journey with You"
This phrase is a prime example of corporate gaslighting. It cleverly deflects responsibility from your supervisor, suggesting that it’s your duty to keep them informed of your progress. Want a promotion or a raise? Apparently, you should have detailed every step of your achievements. The reality is, if they truly cared, they’d already be aware of your contributions.
Subsection 1.2.1: "I Need..."
Popularized by the notorious Bill Lumbergh from Office Space, this phrase is all too familiar. When have you ever felt comfortable stating your needs? Imagine saying, "Boss, I need a raise" or "I need more support." Ridiculous, right? Yet, it’s perfectly acceptable for bosses to demand things from you, like “Could you stay late?” versus “I need you to stay late.” The former gives you room to decline, while the latter exerts power and pressure.
Section 1.3: "Diversity is Our Strength"
While diversity can indeed be beneficial, it’s often misunderstood in the corporate world. Many businesses claim to value diversity, yet their hiring practices suggest otherwise. They seek a specific type of employee who fits a narrow mold, often ignoring genuine inclusivity. Even in companies boasting diversity in race and gender, those with conservative views frequently find themselves marginalized.
Chapter 2: The Illusion of Integrity
The term "integrity" and the business world go together like oil and water. Corporate leaders often preach about the importance of ethical conduct, yet when a high performer crosses the line, they face minimal consequences. A little reprimand behind closed doors is often the worst they endure, while average employees are swiftly shown the door for far lesser infractions.
Section 2.1: The Myth of Flat Hierarchies
What’s with companies claiming to have flat hierarchies? Just because employees aren't in uniforms doesn’t mean they don’t recognize the power dynamics. Sure, there might be an open-door policy, but that doesn’t change the fact that a hierarchy exists. The so-called "flat" structures often retain typical hierarchical traits, such as information hoarding and favoritism towards those who align with management.
Section 2.2: The Misuse of "Humbled"
If there’s one word that has lost its meaning, it’s "humbled." Often uttered by award recipients, this term has infiltrated corporate lingo. When someone wins an award and posts about being "humbled," they’re not; they’re grateful or honored. Using "humbled" is often a humblebrag, an attempt to project modesty while still seeking recognition.
Any other phrases that get under your skin?
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