Chapter 1: The Journey of Awareness

Recently, I discovered that I often anticipate a lack of grace from those around me. It's as if I've become overly attuned to unkind behaviors. For instance, there's the driver in a pickup truck who aggressively tailgates anyone not speeding at 85 mph on the highway.

Then there’s the receptionist at my dentist’s office who, upon my arrival for an 8 AM cleaning, looked up with irritation and snapped, "What?"

I also find myself reflecting on my own moments of gracelessness, particularly when I'm feeling rushed or overwhelmed. There are times I brace for negative interactions, expecting others to be curt, impatient, or even hostile.

However, a recent experience opened my eyes to the unnecessary negativity I often carry, as well as the potential for grace in my surroundings.

This year has been challenging for me, filled with job-related stress, health concerns, and the ongoing emotional strain of navigating my daughter's cancer diagnosis.

That day, while I was grappling with a myriad of issues, I faced a particularly unsettling moment. I had experienced a stroke-like episode the week prior and was still feeling off. To make matters worse, I learned my computer had suffered a power surge, rendering it unusable.

Driving to my appointment with a new spiritual director, who is truly wonderful, I shared my burdens. She asked if I had ever practiced visualization prayers. When I admitted I hadn’t, she encouraged me to envision God sitting beside me and to listen closely. "What do you think God is saying to you right now?" she inquired. My response was, "That I am loved, though I can’t quite hear it," a thought that had crossed my mind earlier that day.

The session was uplifting, yet I left feeling exposed and raw, akin to a half-plucked chicken. I made my way to a coffee shop for some comfort and chose a tea blend called "Restore." It felt like the perfect choice.

Next, I headed to Best Buy to confirm the fate of my computer. The sales representative was both helpful and humorous, sharing the story behind his name tag that read "Hola"—a nod to his brief mention of speaking Spanish on his application, despite being primarily an English speaker. His light-heartedness made the experience more manageable, even though I felt a bit out of my depth.

The most challenging moment of the day came when I mistakenly thought my follow-up cardiology appointment was nearby, only to realize it was actually 25 minutes away. Without my computer, I hadn’t been able to verify the details in my calendar. Thankfully, I remembered I could log into my patient portal to check.

After acknowledging my mistake and informing them of my tardiness, I set off on my drive. Upon arrival, I discovered I was unfamiliar with the hospital layout, leaving me feeling lost and disoriented. I called the office again, my voice shaky with anxiety. The receptionist responded kindly, guiding me with gentle reassurance. "Do you see the blue doors?" she asked. "Yes!" I replied, relieved. "Go through them, and a man will be at the entryway to assist you," she instructed.

Following her guidance, I found an elderly gentleman with fluffy white hair who led me to the correct suite, providing clear directions along the way. Entering the suite, I was warmly greeted by two receptionists who joked about my late arrival. I laughed, sharing my parking lot misadventures, and took a seat in the waiting area.

A few minutes later, a nurse took my blood pressure, and we shared a laugh about my earlier confusion. She kindly instructed me on how to exit the suite.

When the cardiologist came in, I apologized for my late arrival. He reassured me that it was all right, as he too had faced delays due to plumbing issues at his home. We discussed my transient ischemic attack (TIA), and he set me up with a heart monitor for the upcoming two weeks.

As I left, I reminded myself to "turn right." However, it turned out that “turn right” referred to directions after exiting the cardiovascular unit. The nurse had mistakenly assumed I could navigate independently, which led to more laughter with the receptionists as they watched my confusion through the glass. I became the cheerful, lost patient who could laugh at herself, and in that moment, they brightened my day as much as I had theirs. It was a beautiful exchange of grace.

The kindness of others illuminated the grace and love of God.

My spiritual director later reminded me that it is a gift to experience such grace. Throughout the day, I received kindness from my spiritual director, the sales associate at Best Buy, and especially from the entire Heart and Cardiovascular team at Passavant Hospital. When I relayed my day’s adventures to my husband, he chuckled and appreciated the story, celebrating the joyful ending with me. He expressed his love without conditions, saying, "I love you because I love you."

This unconditional love mirrors God's love for me.

Chapter 2: Embracing Kindness in Relationships

In this video titled "Appreciating God's Grace" (Pastor Nicholas & Grace, 10 September 2021), the speakers delve into the profound impact of recognizing divine grace in our lives. They share personal anecdotes and reflections, encouraging viewers to open their hearts to the kindness that exists within and around them.

The second video, "Appreciating God's Grace: Expressing Love and Gratitude in Relationships," explores the significance of showing love and gratitude in our interpersonal connections. The presenters discuss practical ways to cultivate grace in our daily interactions, fostering deeper relationships with others and with God.