Chapter 1: The Burden of People Pleasing

People pleasing can strip you of your true potential. It's essential to clear the clutter from your life and reevaluate your sense of worth.

As I find myself once again on the 10:10 to Nanaimo, the Queen of Cowichan my nocturnal companion, the atmosphere is serene. It seems like there are fewer night wanderers compared to my last journey.

My day kicked off with a coaching session that proved to be just as transformative as my previous three. The main insights were clear:

1. It’s time to declutter. I have already started selling some possessions as a temporary measure, unknowingly guided by the universe. My coach emphasized the need to let go of attachments. During my visit to my storage unit in Abbotsford, I was taken aback by how much I had tucked away. I selected a few items to sell, donate, or dispose of in Nanaimo.
2. Redefine your sense of “worth” and “worthiness.” This will necessitate some profound introspection. While I’m still unsure of the direction to take, I recognize that my past notions of worth and value were flawed and ineffective.
3. Support yourself. I need to prioritize my well-being, ensuring I don't overextend myself to those who seem eager to take advantage of my kindness.
4. Stop fretting over others' opinions. Whether it's about choosing a partner, enrolling in a course, or attending an event, the judgments of others should not dictate your choices. You are the one responsible for the aftermath, so why concern yourself with those who are merely spectators?

They say that when a student is prepared, a teacher appears. After finishing Alinka Rutkowska’s "HOW I SOLD 80,000 Books," I instinctively picked up Ching-Ning Chu's "Thick Face, Black Heart," a title recommended by the legendary Dan Kennedy.

It quickly became evident that I was ready for Chu's teachings, and she was exactly the guide I needed.

Recent hurdles have caused me to reflect deeply. They made me question not only my worth but also my very existence. Why am I facing these challenges now? Financial difficulties, which I believed I had resolved a decade ago, have resurfaced.

Even though new opportunities keep arising, they often lack the follow-through I anticipated, leaving me puzzled. Despite the groundwork I laid (I prepared before thirst struck in every possible way), the worst-case scenarios seem to be materializing.

Chu states:

"I have seen many individuals age, but not with grace. Their eyes reveal sorrow and disillusionment. Life has battered them; they carry so many shattered dreams. The optimism of youth has faded — only death lies ahead."

Yet, Chu argues that these lessons are essential, as they equip us for the greatness we are capable of achieving.

As I delved deeper into the book, I realized I hadn’t distanced myself enough from my circumstances to gain clarity. It's important to acknowledge pain, but after experiencing it for a sufficient time, one should not shy away from being their own toughest critic and taking an honest look at the choices that brought them here. More importantly, it’s crucial to begin seeking solutions.

These lessons might have been unavoidable, so there's little value in debating them. The choice to elevate one's mindset and continue pursuing dreams is a personal decision. Will you rise again or resign yourself to stagnation?

One timeless piece of wisdom comes from Matthew 10:16:

"Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves. Be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves."

Most people grasp the latter part but overlook the former. The verse suggests that being wise like a serpent is of utmost importance when navigating danger.

If you find yourself among wolves, you are at risk of being devoured. You don’t have the luxury to be harmless like a dove; although it might be beneficial to appear that way, you must also possess the cunning to escape peril.

This principle is vital in all aspects of life. You can either think for yourself or allow others to do so for you. You can either create or consume. You can either sell or be sold. If you find yourself on the wrong side of this equation, it’s no surprise that your aspirations seem unattainable.

I’m reminding myself as much as anyone else. While you may wish to disregard the messenger, doing so would mean missing out on valuable insights.

I would love to explore further with you, but soon the Queen will dock in Nanaimo, and I will retreat for a well-deserved rest.

If you've read this far, you undoubtedly possess the resilience to confront life’s challenges. This means you should also be ready to commit more deeply to yourself. Not tomorrow, but today.

Therefore, grab your complimentary copy of the Productivity, Performance & Profits Blackbook to affirm your self-worth. You can achieve your goals, but you will need this guide to light up the darker paths on your journey. Secure your copy now.

Chapter 2: Learning from the Past

The first video, "The Curse of the People Pleaser," delves into the detrimental impacts of prioritizing others' needs over your own, offering insights on how to escape this cycle.

The second video, "ROOTS of a PEOPLE PLEASER | How to STOP People Pleasing NOW," provides practical strategies to break the habit of people pleasing and reclaim your autonomy.