Chapter 1: The Question of Parenting Struggles

Recently, I came across a thought-provoking question on a newsfeed I follow: "What has been your most challenging struggle as a parent?" This inquiry lingered in my mind for a considerable time. Regardless of our circumstances, we all endure various battles as we navigate through life, both as teenagers and adults.

Answering this question regarding the most difficult struggle as a parent is not straightforward. For those raising a child with a disability, the fight seems perpetual—be it advocating for services or seeking understanding and acceptance. These battles can become second nature, and while many parents face similar challenges, each journey is as distinct as the children we raise.

My toughest battle was not one of advocacy or striving for a better future for my children, but rather an internal conflict within myself.

In late 2018, I went through a separation from my children's mother. I felt like I had failed at life and lost all sense of purpose. Years of hard work seemed to vanish overnight.

My mental health deteriorated rapidly, which began to take a toll on my physical well-being. I struggled to eat and lost weight at an alarming rate—50 pounds in just six weeks. I found myself frequently needing to replace my clothing as they became too loose. I was nearing the point of shopping in the children's section, as my weight plummeted dangerously low.

Concern from those around me grew due to my swift and dramatic weight loss. Some speculated I might be ill or suffering from a severe condition, like cancer. However, the truth was that I was battling depression and anxiety stemming from the impending divorce. My life, as I had once known it, had vanished. I had two sons—one in middle school and the other in elementary school—both with autism and additional special needs. The shift in our family dynamic was profound. How would I navigate this?

I understood that succumbing to this depression would not benefit anyone, especially not my children. If I continued down this path, I risked a serious health crisis, potentially ending up in the ER.

The first step was to accept that the past was gone and that I had to adapt to this new reality. My ex and I were now living separate lives, each on our own journey. It was essential for me to regain my footing.

Next, I needed to focus on my health and start gaining weight. I was perilously thin, and if I didn’t change my eating habits, I could face long-term health complications.

Finally, I needed to work on becoming a better person and a more present parent. I was in the depths of despair and had to find a way to thrive. Change wouldn’t happen overnight; I realized that expecting instant happiness was unrealistic. Therefore, I committed to nine months of outpatient therapy.

Fast forward nearly a year, and I was on the road to recovery, feeling stronger than ever. This marked the beginning of my transformation into the parent my children needed me to be. I had to remain focused, especially as my sons faced challenges they couldn’t fully comprehend.

I accepted that my life had irrevocably changed, and a new chapter was unfolding. I grew as a parent and learned to tackle every life challenge that came my way.

Five years on, I have sustained this positive momentum.

Everyone faces hardships that test our resilience, regardless of who we are. Though these experiences may be painful or uncomfortable, they often lay the groundwork for personal growth. By embracing the lessons learned, we can achieve anything we set our minds to.

Each experience contributes to our unique narrative, shaping our character. For that, I am grateful.

In this video, “3 Biggest Parenting Challenges and How To Solve Them,” explore the common struggles parents face and effective strategies to overcome them.

The video titled "'Put Your Shoes On' Challenge Has Parents Asking Their Kids To Help Them Fight" showcases the creative ways parents engage their children in daily challenges.