Chapter 1: The Decision to Introduce Technology

When my daughter turned 3, she received an old iPhone. Don't worry; she wasn't added to my phone plan and could only access it through WiFi. This meant her activities were limited to:

• Video and audio calls on FaceTime
• Watching YouTube
• Taking photos
• Using drawing and coloring applications
• Playing games

To be candid, I was fed up with her commandeering my phone to watch those surprise egg videos. She had a knack for swiping away my notifications and ignoring incoming calls just to see strangers unveil surprises hidden inside chocolate eggs.

Prior to that, my daughter led a life free from screens until she turned 2. She thrived on learning through books, puzzles, games, and flashcards. "Mommy, I want to help cook!" she'd insist. "Just wait a minute; I need to shower!" But her determination was unwavering. She would often demand, “I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT LAKES!” right before bedtime.

At some point, I exclaimed, “Please, just take my phone so I can shower!” Yet she refused. I even bought her a tablet, but she showed no interest. While other parents were limiting screen time, I was desperately asking my daughter to watch a video for just 15 minutes so I could have a moment to myself.

Eventually, around her third birthday, she relented. But those surprise egg videos quickly became tedious, leading me to hand her an old iPhone and set some rules.

The Rules:

1. The phone only has contacts for family: Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle, and cousins.
2. Only FaceTime audio or video calls are allowed.
3. No 911 calls.
4. The phone can go to school, but it must remain in her cubby, only to be used during lunch for pictures.
5. No phone while I’m talking to her, during meals, or after dark.
6. If the phone runs out of battery, it’s her responsibility to charge it.
7. The case must stay on; if it breaks, no replacement.

Surprisingly, this approach worked. If you're skeptical or ready to critique, let me share how both our lives transformed after I gave her a phone.

Chapter 2: The Impact of Connection

Being apart from my daughter for over 12 hours daily was challenging. I would wake her early, drop her off at daycare before other kids arrived, go to work, and then pick her up last. After a long day, we would have our nightly routine, filled with tantrums and questions about my absence, until she finally fell asleep in my arms.

Once she began using the phone, instead of a bedtime story, she would share pictures from her day. I got to see her breakfast, her smiles with teachers and friends, her class projects, and even her creative moments in the classroom. Her teachers recorded videos of her making pancakes or singing, which made me feel more connected to her life.

I quickly got her teachers on board. My daughter has significant separation anxiety, often worrying that I wouldn’t return. Allowing her to take pictures became a soothing ritual, rewarding her for good behavior, knowing she had something to share with me at the end of the day.

Over time, I witnessed her growing responsible with technology. At school, she would place the phone in her cubby without being reminded. At home, she would always ask for permission before FaceTiming someone. When the battery was low, she'd plug it in herself. She learned to clean her phone and replace the case, understanding that it protected the screen. After a few rounds of surprise egg videos, she'd say, “That’s enough for today,” and move on to other activities.

Now, at age 5, she mainly uses the phone to connect with family. This has been wonderful since we live far from relatives. She has her own Apple ID and calls her family daily, asking Siri questions about elephants or math problems. If she forgets her phone or it dies, she simply transitions to reading a book or doing a puzzle.

Having early exposure to screen time diminished its novelty. She realizes a phone is just another device, much like a tablet. I often get curious glances when people see her with the phone, yet no one bats an eye at a tablet. What’s the difference?

I have no regrets about giving my daughter a phone at 3. She learned valuable lessons that would have been hard to impart otherwise:

• Care for your belongings; if something breaks, there are no replacements.
• Understand that actions have consequences; if you don’t charge your phone, it won’t work.
• Family connections matter; she willingly engages with relatives.
• Sharing is important; she enjoys sharing the phone with friends.

Ultimately, it’s not about the debate over screen time. My priority is ensuring my daughter grows up to be kind, empathetic, and diligent in her studies. Raising a good human is what truly matters.

The first video, I BOUGHT MY 4 yr old an iPHONE! (& here's why), discusses the reasons behind introducing technology to young children and the lessons learned.

The second video, Should I Give My Child An iPhone Or iPad?, explores the considerations parents should weigh when deciding about technology for their children.