Chapter 1: The Unraveling of Parenthood

Parenthood often shatters one's sense of self. When faced with the challenge to rebuild, individuals can choose between restoring their previous identity or embracing significant personal growth. While some parents manage to adapt with relative ease, emerging from hardships with minimal visible changes, many others, including myself, recognize the need for substantial self-improvement.

As a parent who has faced considerable emotional hurdles, my past has deeply influenced my present.

Section 1.1: My Childhood and Its Impact

I was brought up by caregivers who failed to address my emotional and cognitive requirements. Consequently, I developed Complex PTSD due to a mother who was abusive and a father whose violent behavior left lasting scars on my psyche. Additionally, I endured criticism for traits that may stem from undiagnosed autism and a Highly Sensitive Person disposition. My upbringing in a strict Christian evangelical environment further contributed to my religious trauma.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Struggles of Early Motherhood

In my pre-parenthood days, anxiety, depression, and general health issues plagued me. However, the birth of my children ignited a desire to heal from my traumatic past, driven by the belief that they deserved the best upbringing possible. This journey, while benefiting my children, also fostered my own well-being. Yet, the path to healing is not linear; moments of strength are often followed by setbacks.

Chapter 2: Embracing Change and Growth

In this video, we explore the complexities of familial relationships and the impact of radical beliefs on personal growth.

This video discusses the challenges of overcoming childhood trauma and its effects on parenting.

Deciding to cut ties with my mother, who exemplifies narcissistic behavior, has introduced a whirlwind of emotions. I aim to shift my perspective on my mental health struggles, viewing them not as regressions but as natural facets of my ongoing healing process.

To achieve improvement, one must first dismantle existing structures, a taxing yet necessary journey. The true source of my emotional struggles lies not in the actions of my relatives or my upbringing, but in my own responses to these challenges. I believe this period of loss is temporary, and with dedication and time, I will emerge stronger than before. While I may not transform into the 'Million-Dollar Momma,' I am committed to striving for personal growth and healing.