Chapter 1: The Battle Within

At times, I find myself lost in a sea of self-doubt, questioning my very existence.

Just ahead of me in the Starbucks queue stands a woman who seems to embody my worst fears. With her perpetually frowning face—often referred to as RBF, or Resting Bitch Face—she appears to radiate negativity, her downturned lips casting a pall over her features. From my vantage point, her sunken eyes seem devoid of life, and her appearance is far from polished.

Does she even possess a hairbrush?

My critical thoughts spiral: how could anyone leave the house looking like that? It’s ironic how I perceive myself as a paragon of virtue amidst such judgment.

"Good morning, Brenda, the usual?" the barista asks the woman, who I deem my morning adversary.

"Could you hurry, Brenda? I have a job to get to," I silently wish as time seems to drag on.

"Good morning, Julie. That would be nice. Thank you," Brenda replies.

"How is your husband doing?"

"Not good, dear. He had his infusion yesterday; we didn’t sleep at all."

An infusion? My self-righteous facade starts to crumble.

As Julie steps away to prepare Brenda's coffee, she turns to me.

"I apologize for moving so slowly, dear," she says, her frown transforming into a genuine smile. Suddenly, those cold eyes sparkle with warmth.

Oh my, she’s a human being! "No, no, it’s perfectly alright!" I respond, feeling a wave of guilt wash over me.

Her weary expression softens, as if the ice encasing my heart begins to thaw. In that moment, I realize how foolish I’ve been to judge her so harshly based on appearances and my own insecurities.

"I overheard you mention your husband; I hope he gets better soon," I say.

She places her hand on my arm, and I glance down. Her gentle touch stirs something within me, unraveling the scars of my past.

"Thank you for your kind words," she says, her eyes glistening. "It’s been a long journey, but the doctors are optimistic that this treatment will help." A tear escapes her eye, revealing the exhaustion she carries. "I’m just so tired."

How mistaken I was in my assumptions.

Julie returns with Brenda's coffee. "Here’s your drink, Brenda, courtesy of Starbucks. Please tell your husband I look forward to seeing him this summer and wish him a swift recovery."

"Thank you, dear, that’s very thoughtful; he misses the patio." Turning back to me, she asks, "May I buy you a coffee as a kind gesture?"

"No," I reply, but then add, "It’s lovely outside. Would you like to join me on the patio for a chat?" Work can wait.

"That sounds wonderful; I’ll secure a table while you grab your drink."

As she walks outside, I reflect on the ease with which I judge others based on their appearance, feeling a sense of shame. When did my mindset take such a misguided turn? Why did I allow my own insecurities to dictate my view of others?

We should refrain from judgment; our shared humanity should not be a reason for cruelty.

I recognize that this moment offers me a chance for redemption and perhaps the beginning of a new friendship. I take my coffee from Julie and head out to the patio, humbled.

Chapter 2: The Journey Towards Self-Awareness

In the first video, "Studies in John - #49: Neither Do I Condemn Thee," we delve into themes of judgment and compassion, reflecting on how we perceive others.

The second video, "Who made thee a ruler and a judge over us?" encourages viewers to consider their role in the judgments they make, prompting a deeper understanding of personal biases.