What are the consequences of lacking self-love?

When self-love is absent, individuals may become overly critical of their partners, perpetually seeking validation of their feelings. In extreme cases, this deficit can manifest as aggression during intimacy. A person who views themselves as unworthy tends to regard their partner similarly, reducing them to merely an object of gratification rather than a source of emotional fulfillment. This creates a situation devoid of genuine connection, focusing solely on physicality.

Victoria shares her experience: “During intimacy with my husband, I often feel as though he is distant, almost like he’s not present at all. It’s as if I am just a means for his pleasure, and that’s all there is to it.”

Can a partner's affection compensate for a lack of self-love?

Attempting to fill the void of self-dislike with another's love is fundamentally flawed. Relying on someone else to bridge this gap ultimately leads to destructive outcomes.

What occurs when both partners possess self-love?

When individuals prioritize self-love and exhibit genuine care for themselves, they cultivate the ability to give freely—be it time, energy, or attention—without feeling depleted. They are whole and ready to share their fullness with their partner. In relationships where both parties value themselves, there is no sense of ownership or possessiveness. This prevents unhealthy dynamics, such as the victim-persecutor cycle.

In such partnerships, both individuals contribute equally, addressing issues collaboratively and communicating openly to navigate challenges together.