Finding Clarity Amidst Clutter: Understanding Hoarding
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Chapter 1: The Hidden Struggles of Hoarding
We've all seen the dramatic scenes in “Hoarders,” where individuals grapple with parting from decades-old newspapers or live in separate homes to preserve their relationships. However, the narrative often overlooks those whose homes, while cluttered, do not reach the extreme. This describes my mother. Her living space is not filled to the brim; you can walk through her home and see the floor, sit comfortably in the living room, and access the bathroom without difficulty.
But tread carefully—don't look behind the couch, don't peek into the bedrooms, and certainly avoid the basement stairs. My mother is what you might call a covert hoarder.
Photo by ?ahin Sezer Dinçer on Unsplash
Chapter 2: A Personal Awakening
It took me years to recognize that my mother's hoarding behavior was not the norm. Moving into my first apartment at 23, I began a rigorous cleaning regimen. For me, decluttering served as a mental outlet, especially during the stressful days of graduate school. Despite this, I failed to connect the dots.
My realization struck during a visit to my boyfriend's family home, which was immaculate—dust-free and devoid of clutter. After my boyfriend's father jokingly labeled us hoarders when we moved into our own home, it dawned on me: if I was perceived as a hoarder with a single U-Haul of belongings, how would one categorize my mother? She’d likely require ten U-Hauls to transport her possessions.
In the video "My Mom Has Become a Hoarder; How Do I Help?", the speaker shares personal experiences and offers insights on addressing the issue of hoarding in a loved one’s life.
Section 2.1: The Purge
Motivated by this realization, I embarked on a significant purge. Now, my entire wardrobe fits neatly into a small closet, I own only five pairs of shoes, and I've minimized my collection of beauty products and clothing. My books have been reduced to a single crate, and the simplicity feels liberating.
Doing laundry has become effortless with everything fitting into one load, and my mental space has never been clearer.
Section 2.2: The Emotional Toll
Despite these positive changes, I struggle to spend more than a few hours in my mother’s home without feeling overwhelmed. I often lie awake at night, contemplating how to help her declutter her space and how to persuade her to part with her outdated printer from 2003.
However, I’ve come to understand that hoarding is a significant mental health issue. I can provide support, but I must also establish boundaries for my own well-being. While I cannot dictate her clutter, I can manage my own environment.
The second video, "My mom is a hoarder: What I've learned so far, mistakes I've made, and how I have helped," delves into the lessons learned and strategies for assisting a loved one dealing with hoarding.
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Hello! I'm Lindsay, a speech pathologist passionate about life, mindfulness, my profession, and financial literacy. I aim to share knowledge and insights with you. Interested in more stories? Follow my journey!