2020: A Year of Independence

The passing of my beloved grandmother in 2018 left a heavy void, making it difficult for me to leave my childhood home, which was filled with memories of her love and support. The grief weighed heavily on me, contributing to my struggles on this tightrope.

I found myself entangled in a legal battle with my cousin regarding expenses tied to the house we inherited from my grandmother and aunt. I remained in that home until 2020, when I finally moved into my own apartment.

Initially, I managed to pay my rent and cover my essentials. However, as months passed, the financial strain became overwhelming. I didn’t earn enough to cover my rent, legal fees, and basic needs, leading me to take out my first line of credit.

The cycle of debt spiraled quickly. I borrowed to pay my bills but soon found myself unable to keep up with the repayments. This led to more loans to cover the existing debts, trapping me in a relentless cycle of borrowing.

The weight of my financial obligations caused me to falter. Yet, despite being bent, I pushed forward in pursuit of happiness.

Crisis and Turning Points

My financial situation deteriorated, bringing about four significant crises that nearly pushed me off my tightrope:

1. An eviction notice from my landlord.
2. A suicide attempt that landed me in a stabilization unit.
3. Moving in with my cousin.
4. My paycheck was garnished.

These challenges left me feeling stagnant and hopeless about ever reaching the end of my tightrope. However, a flicker of resilience ignited within me, fueled by love, providing the strength to stabilize myself.

Love as a Catalyst

As I navigate my way toward happiness, I’ve learned to take each step carefully to regain my balance. I’ve established payment plans with most of my creditors to manage my debts and am focused on creating multiple income streams. This includes writing on Medium, producing content for my YouTube channel, and humbling myself to work part-time at Taco Bell.

Gradually, the weight on my tightrope is lifting. This process has been challenging but enlightening, forcing me to confront my previous naivety regarding borrowing.

I’ve come to understand the consequences of accumulating debt, realizing that any financial decision requires careful consideration and a clear mindset. I’ve become a living testament to the dangers of excessive borrowing and am committed to ensuring I never fall into that trap again.

Even on tough days when tears threaten to overwhelm me, I find joy in the journey. I’m discovering my ability to persevere through adversity and remain focused on my goals. Life may be difficult, but there’s always a reason to keep going.

Throughout the remainder of my 30s, I will allow love to be the flame that keeps me steady on my tightrope, and I will embrace every moment of this journey.