Chapter 1: The Unbecoming Process

I find myself at a point in life where I am determined to quiet the external distractions. While I don’t need to discard my entire identity, there are certain aspects I need to release.

Photo by Warren on Unsplash

For many years, I've gathered various beliefs, expectations, and assumptions—some genuinely mine, while others have been instilled by family and societal norms. A few years back, I began to challenge everything I accepted as truth, including my subconscious thought patterns.

The journey to discover my true self is more about shedding what I am not; it’s a process of unbecoming. Each time I gaze into the mirror, the person looking back seems… incomplete.

Unbecoming may lead to disappointing others or stepping beyond societal boundaries. However, within this discomfort lies the essence of self-discovery. It is a subtle act of rebellion.

“The knowledge of the past stays with us. To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.” — Jack Kornfield

I recognize that I am not merely my thoughts; I am my consciousness. But who am I, really? What do I sincerely believe? How can I ascertain that my perceptions reflect objective reality? What truths remain hidden from my awareness?

I’m still on this journey of self-discovery, seeking answers within.

As I embark on this process of unbecoming, I awaken the self I have long ignored. I reconnect with what invigorates me: my values, interests, and curiosities—those elements that genuinely inspire me.

As Paulo Coelho aptly put it, “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

Everyone is in a perpetual state of becoming and unbecoming, whether consciously or unconsciously. I wish to take ownership of my journey.

Unbecoming is a means of reconnecting with my true essence—the innate curiosity I had as a child, my sense of wonder, and the desire to delve deep within to awaken my complete self.

What I do professionally is secondary. The knowledge I possess has its limits. My beliefs alone will not rescue me. Yet, what I am awakening within is crucial for my future self.

Unbecoming feels less like loss and more like a rediscovery. Each step forward reveals more of my authentic self.

My past is not a weight I carry. I am not evading it; rather, I am learning from it and using it to propel myself forward. Certain experiences have shaped me, for better or worse, but they do not define me.

I am ready to release what no longer serves my growth. I don’t need to abandon everything; however, some burdens are too heavy.

My identity is fluid.

As Alan Watts wisely noted, “We seldom realize, for example that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our society.”

The aim of unbecoming is not to reject all that society offers but to become a discerning curator of those influences. I am selecting the tools that resonate with my deepest desires and values.

Awareness is key.

Once I recognize the societal influences, I can begin to disconnect from who I am not. “The path of awakening is not about becoming who you are. Rather it is about unbecoming who you are not,” states theologian Albert Schweitzer.

The inward journey isn’t about discovering who you will be but remembering who you have always been. The first step towards authenticity is releasing the image of who you think you should be.

I constantly question the beliefs and norms that have been handed down to me. I refuse to become a stranger to myself. The journey of unbecoming is lifelong, paving the way for the unknown.

But I am ready.

I am prepared to silence the external distractions. While I don’t need to discard my entire self, certain aspects must be relinquished. The uncertainty of my future self may be chaotic, but understanding who I do not want to be is invaluable.

Unbecoming is a radical act of self-discovery. I am crafting a life that feels authentic, a life where I can finally breathe, and where the reflection in the mirror represents my true self.

Now, with each thought or emotion, I question its source. Is it genuinely mine?

Chapter 2: The Role of Awareness in Unbecoming

In this visual piece, Leanna Firestone explores the theme of becoming and unbecoming, highlighting the emotional journey of self-discovery and authenticity.

This video delves into the concept of unbecoming who you were never meant to be, emphasizing the importance of shedding societal expectations to uncover your true identity.