Chapter 1: The Quest for Perfection

In my garden, an issue has arisen. The area where vibrant tomatoes used to thrive, beside the green stucco wall of my garage, has turned into a patch yielding unsatisfactory fruit. The once plump and juicy cherry tomatoes now produce fruits no larger than a pea.

I tend to the vines, nurturing them with water and care, pleading for them to flourish. Yet, despite my efforts, the results remain disappointing. Each day, the overripe pea-sized tomatoes tumble from their branches, collecting beneath the vines. I find myself contemplating whether it’s worth the effort to gather them. What can I possibly do with such underdeveloped fruit while I still hold onto dreams of perfect cherries?

Photo by Vitaliy Gavrushchenko on Unsplash

What drives us to seek perfection? We yearn for it in our gardens, our careers, and even our relationships. Why are we wired to chase after this elusive ideal? I recognize that I am far from perfect, yet I strive tirelessly to achieve it, and it’s utterly draining.

I notice the flawless faces of young women portrayed in media—knowing full well that they are digitally altered to appear smoother than reality—but I still wish for my complexion to mirror theirs. I gaze at my neighbor's meticulously maintained garden, where she spends countless hours pruning and shaping her plants. In my attempts to keep pace with her, I often feel defeated.

However, upon reflection, I appreciate the wildness of my own garden. It possesses a freedom that I find myself yearning for. Life cannot always be perfectly arranged, and that's perfectly acceptable. The imperfections that emerge tell a deeper story.

Photo by Author

The broken and flawed elements are what lend uniqueness to our experiences. The Japanese art of Kintsugi, or "golden repair," celebrates brokenness. Artists mend cracked pottery, emphasizing the fractures with gold, silver, or platinum. This technique transforms a broken object into one that is beautiful in its flaws, inviting us to appreciate the deeper narrative behind the breakage.

After years of striving for perfection in my journalistic career, I have shifted my perspective on life. I am now dedicated to creating a life that values mistakes as part of the journey.

Photo by the author

Putting Theory into Action: Repairing My Own Broken Pieces

I took an old mask from my travels in Kathmandu in 1988. Despite its broken state, I couldn't part with it, as it holds memories of my backpacking adventures. I meticulously reassembled it and highlighted the cracks with gold paint, transforming it into a multi-layered artifact—a reminder of a journey, a treasured keepsake, and a reflection of my own life’s imperfections.

We should all approach life as if we are creating giant doodles.

Doodling embodies the concept of embracing mistakes as integral to the artwork. I begin with a blank canvas, drawing lines and shapes without concern for perfection. If a line deviates from my expectation, I adapt and incorporate it into my creation. Each unique mark can become a focal point for further exploration.

As I engage in doodling, I release my perfectionist tendencies and enter a realm of creativity and playfulness, continuously building upon my perceived mistakes. In this artistic process, errors become opportunities rather than setbacks.

As I reflect on my journey as a recovering perfectionist, I aim to embrace my mistakes more openly. Today, I have decided to appreciate those tiny tomatoes. I’ll gather them, perhaps finding a purpose for them in a basil-garlic pasta sauce. Who knows? Maybe others will delight in the sweetness of these miniature tomatoes and appreciate the special touch of my unconventional gardening.

Audrey Stimson is a writer residing in a green home with her husband and dog, Bindi. When she’s not penning essays and short stories, she works as a television news producer and is currently writing a book about her bicycle journey across the United States. Learn more about Audrey on her website.

Chapter 2: Healing from Perfectionism

The first video, "Curing Perfectionism - How To Stop Being A Perfectionist," explores strategies to overcome perfectionist tendencies and embrace a more balanced approach to life.

The second video, "How to Heal from Perfectionism," delves into personal stories and insights that guide viewers through the healing process from perfectionism.