What Exactly Is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism compels individuals to maintain exceptionally high standards in their personal and professional lives. This drive for meticulousness can seem beneficial on the surface. However, these lofty expectations can often be unrealistic, leading to significant stress and anxiety.

Here are some consequences of perfectionism:

• Incomplete tasks due to the inability to meet self-imposed standards.
• Hesitation to start new projects for fear of not performing perfectly.
• Avoidance of risks because of the uncertainty of outcomes.
• Concern about the judgments of others, leading to self-criticism.

While striving for excellence is commendable, perfectionism can result in procrastination, binary thinking, obsessive behaviors, and a tendency to downplay one's achievements.

Assessing Your Own Perfectionism

A perfectionist typically exhibits "excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations." Recognizing these traits in yourself can be challenging, but it's essential. Reflect on the following questions:

• Do you consistently set unattainable goals?
• Do others perceive your expectations as unrealistic?
• Are you excessively critical of yourself and those around you?
• Do you delay projects until conditions are ideal or you feel you can execute them flawlessly?
• Do you shy away from new challenges for fear of not excelling?
• Is there a possibility of low self-esteem affecting your view of your accomplishments?
• Do you experience anxiety or low mood due to unmet goals?

The Roots of Perfectionism

As Brene Brown suggests, perfectionism often stems from early experiences with overly demanding caregivers who only offered praise for "perfect" behavior. This environment can foster feelings of shame for not meeting expectations, leading to a persistent fear of judgment and exclusion.

Different Types of Perfectionism

Perfectionism can manifest in various forms:

1. Self-oriented perfectionism: Imposing unrealistic standards on oneself.
2. Others-oriented perfectionism: Setting excessively high expectations for others.
3. Socially prescribed perfectionism: Adopting perceived standards of societal expectations, often influenced by social media comparisons.

These types of perfectionism are deeply rooted in feelings of insecurity.

Consequences of Perfectionism

Perfectionism can cause various issues, such as:

• Procrastination and reluctance to begin tasks.
• Binary thinking, where only "perfect" outcomes are acceptable.
• Anxiety stemming from fear of judgment and failure.
• Unrealistically high standards that can lead to low self-esteem.

Despite the allure of perfectionism, its detrimental effects can hinder personal and professional growth.

The Dual Nature of Perfectionism

While the negative aspects of perfectionism are evident, it's essential to recognize that not all perfectionism is harmful. Psychologists categorize perfectionism into two types: healthy and unhealthy.

Healthy perfectionists, or "Optimalists," understand that failure is a natural part of the learning process. They view setbacks as opportunities for growth and recognize that success is not a straight path but a journey filled with twists and turns.

Overcoming Negative Perfectionism

Recovering from perfectionism is a gradual journey that requires self-awareness and consistent effort. Here are some steps to consider:

• When you notice perfectionistic tendencies, pause and evaluate your thoughts. Ask yourself if your expectations are reasonable.
• Cultivate a growth mindset, viewing imperfections as learning opportunities, as explained in the video below.

• If you find yourself fixated on perceived failures, conduct a post-mortem analysis. Identify what worked and consider what you would change next time.
• Refrain from comparing yourself to others, especially on social media.
• Seek guidance from a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) practitioner to address persistent negative thoughts.
• Embrace the mantra, "Done is better than perfect."

Final Thoughts

If I were interviewing a candidate who claimed to be a perfectionist, I would inquire further to understand their approach. Are they an Optimalist? I would present scenarios to gauge their thought processes.

For a deeper understanding of perfectionism, consider exploring the following resources:

In addition, consider this video on overcoming procrastination and optimizing effort through understanding dopamine.