The First Insight: This Doesn’t Seal Your Fate

Just as with drafting a will or preparing Advance Directives, writing your obituary is not a precursor to your demise. In fact, it can alleviate some of the burdens you may feel, potentially extending your time. Friends I've assisted have consistently mentioned how uplifting it felt to have this task completed.

Understanding Your Unique Perspective

No one knows your life better than you do. Crafting a pre-written obituary serves as a gift for those left behind, saving them the effort of creating something from scratch. While they may choose to modify it or not use it at all, at least it will alleviate some of the stress from their post-mortem responsibilities.

Effective Writing Tips

Avoid starting with the clichéd phrase, "XX died peacefully, surrounded by his/her loving family on month-day-year..." This approach is monotonous. Instead, consider beginning with a statement that reflects your essence, such as, "X often shared that their happiest moments were spent on the beach at sunrise." Or, "…the proudest achievement was when XX nonprofit received the Best In City award." These lines can lead into reflections on your passions, such as painting seascapes or your efforts with charitable organizations.

As you immerse yourself in recalling meaningful experiences, you may find inspiration for additional content. Writers often feel that their first drafts meander, but they usually refine their thoughts by the second or third attempt.

Inserting key details about your education, career, family, and accomplishments can enhance your narrative. Ultimately, your goal is to simplify the task for your loved ones.

The Profession of Obituary Writing

Interestingly, "Obituary Writer" is an actual profession. I discovered this while pondering my own writing. There was once a professional association, The Society of Professional Obituary Writers, though it seems to have become inactive. While I don’t envision myself pursuing this as a career, it was intriguing to learn about.

Returning to Your Own Writing

Feel free to express yourself extensively if you find joy in this process. However, unless you’ve allocated significant funds for publication, your heirs might discard a lengthy piece. Instead, consider focusing on a concise 200- to 500-word summary that highlights the most significant aspects of your life.

Crafting a Lasting Memory

Towards the end of your obituary, write a brief paragraph emphasizing the qualities or contributions you'd like to be remembered for, like your artistic endeavors or community service. Encourage your loved ones to remember you while engaging in these activities.

Concluding Thoughts

Finally, you may want to suggest a couple of charitable organizations that could benefit from donations made in your memory. This gesture can create a lasting legacy.

Wishing you a long life filled with joyful writing!

If you found this piece insightful, I invite you to explore some of my other reflections on Crow's Feet.